The Announcement Board

I’m leaving Jesse in charge of this blog for a while. Play nice and he can edit/apporve any submitted post but cannot make new users.

There really is no such thing as a secret waterfall. There are two kinds of waterfall that could be considered “secret”, obscure and difficult to reach. I know every nature lover has a place they consider “theirs” and while they might like to prevent littering groups of idiots from ruining their day they can’t.

Well I decided to find the second category of waterfall and immediately looked to the 1,134 miles of creeks, streams and rivers in the Los Padres. A quick look at a topo map and before you knew it dozens of places became possibilities. There are two designations of waterfall on a topo map with the most common being marked as “Falls” and the other is a uniquely named waterfall. I guess there is a third designation of no marking at all, being that I’ve seen falls that aren’t marked on a topo map.

That’s when I was passed along a link to a historic waterfall and a question. “What do you think the chances are of not getting caught?” I replied “Why, is it on private property?” The answer I got personally shocked me being that I know there is access to the area in question. “No it’s in the Condor Sanctuary.” This seems to be a bunch of bullsh*t to me because they let oil companies pump oil, even during flash flood closures.

Sespe River, Tar Creek and Squaw Flat are all in the Condor Sanctuary and we are allowed there so why are the deeper parts of it restricted? Are the Condor Keepers afraid of people looking at their birds funny? Are pictures of wild condors bad for business? I guess these self appointed lords of the wilderness granted us the privilege of enjoying small parts of the area. Public access to the waterfalls on the southern tributaries to Sespe is not allowed. If that’s the truth then I advocate the use of lead bullets and everything else that is bad for these birds.

The applicable definition of sanctuary is as follows

Sanc·tu·ar·y - A reserved area in which birds and other animals, especially wild animals, are protected from hunting or molestation.

I do not plan on hunting condors and I’m definitely not going to be molesting them so that means that I would not be violating the refuge of these wild animals. I do plan on taking some condor pictures though and I am going to have to go where condors roost to do this. I also want my condor pictures to not have lame skyscapes behind them.

I’m betting that we don’t get caught and if we do we argue our case.

• No Trespassing signs weren’t posted
• I’ve hiked in the Sanctuary before
• I wanted a Condor Picture not a Condor dinner
• I followed a road in
• Oil Companies are here, pumping oil

The worst thing I foresee happening is us being told to leave. This is more likely to happen when we’re already leaving so I don’t think it’s a big deal. I have not seen any evidence of the Condor Keepers accessing the fork of the canyon I want to see.

I know this post is long but the hike in mind is an 8-10 mile trip that should be evenly split between trailless creek bottom and fire road hiking, just like Santa Paula Canyon since ‘04. There are two big waterfalls that do not have pictures anywhere on the ‘net. The waterfall that has condors roosting is called Hole-in-the-Wall-Falls.

I’m going to call it Hallway Falls, with the lower waterfall called Gateway Falls. The rugged canyon these waterfalls inhabit will be referred to as Condor Canyon. This is going to be a new trend in how 12 Feet Under publishes locations. There will be no more directions and I am no longer calling places by their “map” names. It’s all to support the Los Padres Canyoneers and enjoy the wild horizons offered by nature.

Next Friday I’m going to head for the Last Chance Trail. It connects with The Red Reef & Rose Lion Trails into the Sespe. There also looks to be a low ridge into Bear Mountain before you crest the Topatopa Ridge on the West Side. Most of Bear Mountain, especially Bear Mountain Creek, is considered impenetrable and all of it most people see is the last waterfall roaring into Sespe Creek

The next week is going to be spent acquiring gear, even though the rappelling is going to wait for the rainy months. Then we’re practicing somewhere in Malibu State Park. I’m also buying the kindest rope money can buy, it’s minimum breaking strength is a whopping 9000 lbs. A new digital camera is the toy I’m looking forward to having again. I’m also looking forward to naming a waterfall after myself.

The first few months of fall are going to be full of trips for me. I’m going to take a few trips down Sespe Creek. The big one is a 30 mile tube trip because I have to try my luck with an old inner tube, my guts and Class V rapids. I also am going to explore the western edge of the Sierra Madres, though water is looking scarce. There is a 60 mile creek, with Class V rapids, that cuts through that range but it’s approached as two trips due to impassable manmade objects.

Why? How can I be a professional guide unless I’ve gotten lost there once? It’s kind of a joke but it’s intimidating to cross a mountain on foot and then come down the other side. I should be posting some awesome pics and we’ll keep our fingers crossed for lots of deep pools.

One of our greatest Presidents issued this challenge to the American people. They should all be able to take a 50 mile hike. That president was JFK and he even took these hikes.

Back in the sixties people used to hike from Interstate 5 to Hwy 33 to achieve this presidential challenge. The gorge between the Sespe Condor Preserve and Interstate 5 is the wildest area of wilderness in California. There are no roads and the trails were eroded by creeks. This connects with the Sespe which leads to Highway 33. It could honestly be done in three days by determined hikers with very short rest stops. I guess it would take 5 days, maybe even 6, to enjoy the scenery and not feel like all we did was march.

I’d like to announce that both 12 Feet Under and The Los Padres Canyoneers support this goal. The support for El C.A.P.O. should be adopted by all Americans, young and old. We will be scouting the area from both directions and hope to find old fire lookouts, abandoned gold mines and more as we plunge deeper into the wilderness.

The presidential hike will eventually connect Rose Valley to Hungry Valley via the natural corridors used by settlers. There is adventure aplenty in the wilds of The Los Padres National Forest. This is also Black Bear country and is perfect Mountain Lion territory.

My Loophole

The nice part is now I’m non-commercial, I just get paid bank to be the name on the permit. We also have islands that are covered in Sea Caves…a real coasteering place. The price of 100 dollars a day is seeming to be the fair market value for these trips. I might actually apply for a commercial use permit for one trip/area. 5% of the fee I charge is what the permit is going to cost and it might be expensive to meet the actual regulations. You might need to make a “I promise to behave” deposit while carrying liability insurance. The submission of your business plan and operating plan are also possible qualifications.

Is it kosher to candy coat things like that? I might want to leave out the part about cliff jumping, abseiling and adrenaline-crazed adventure seekers. Does a personal decision to jump off a cliff impact the “public good”? Is a waiver the same as liability insurance?

You’re also required to make a pre-application meeting before receiving the verdict…this is going to be fun.

For 1 person to take a 4 hour coasteering trip, with equipment, goes for 65 - 95 US dollars in Britain. The equipment in my case is what you need to hike. The only thing that is coming to mind is helper ropes, unless we decide to start outfitting backpacking trips.

Jesse, I’ll email you my pricing breakdown as soon as I iron the kinks out of it. I was thinking of several other things and we could almost 100% cater to people for the right price. The clients carry nice daypacks and their water and we carry gear. When we get there they have cooks, tent uppers and wood gatherers. The cheaper package has the clients doing it themselves. We all know how to hike gear into the boonies so the clients have the benefit of our experience.

I was thinking two people are needed to guide a group back into adventure hike territory. I figure we’ll make 1 mile an hour with rookies so charging per mile seemed the best idea to me. I was also thinking of doing minimum amounts of people and length. When we factor length we have to consider driving distance and hiking distance. I would also charge more for children under 13.

There are a lot of liabilities to consider too and writing a disclaimer is way harder than it looks when you sign one. If a client gets lost, hurt or suffers a financial loss I don’t want to be on the hook. I don’t think the California Sportsmen law would protect us in this case. Unless we accept money for something else other than a “tour”. We could be teachers and they could “take a class” and if they pay us enough we let them cheat!

The new site is being called Danger Ranger Inc, or D.R.Inc for short. SoCal Adventure Hiking would probably be a more marketable name but it seems mundane to me. The initials are S.A.H. and I don’t like that either. If the initials could consist of S.A.R.N. and be as catchy as Search & Rescue Ninjas I’m down.

I think we should offer Day Trips at 6-8 hours and backpacking trips from 2-5 nights. I was also thinking of doing overnighters out of a car trunk at places like Red Rock or Malibu Creek. This means we need tents, tarps, rope(Thick & Thin), backpacks(framed & day trip), sunscreen and a few other things. I think we should start hitting up thrift stores and people’s closets guys. We also have to get out and scout a few more locations to offer a diverse range of trips.

Where are good places to

• Go Mountain Biking
• Go Swimming
• Go Fishing
• Go Cliff Jumping
• Go Rock Climbing
• Go Bouldering

It’s be nice to have the equipment that these sports needed but I think we need to market ourselves to people who have the gear already and then invest in things like that as time goes on. I also think we should take people the hard way everywhere we go. In Malibu Creek State Park I would trail hike to the dam and then take the gorge to the Rock Pool. Taking people from the Hill Canyon Sh*t Plant to the Man’s Jump parking lot would be a good example if it’s a bad idea in practice. At Tar Creek we take them further up Squaw Flat Road, before going into the canyon, so they don’t see the huge winding trail up the mountain until it’s time to leave.

You know my email Jesse so get back to me with your thoughts. It’s going to take four dedicated people to make this happen. We’ll need a secretary, a reservationist, a scheduler, a picture taker/editor and it goes on and on. Then we have to find clients…

As the motivating force behind 12 Feet Under I have decided that…Coasteering, it’s my new business. An industry filled with fly-by-night, cowboy operators is right up my alley. I also have an impressive track record compared to the around 5% mortality rate among already existing coasteering companies. 100 firms and five deaths this year, all in the UK, led to that statement.

Rabbit and Erick were the only people to sustain serious injuries while under my professional supervision. They were both advised by me, that very day, to not do the jumps that got them hurt. I have never watched a friend or stranger drown in the many years I’ve been going cliff jumping. That means that I have a perfect record of safety in one of mankind’s most dangerous games. So I have awarded the 12 Feet Under Seal of Greatness to Skorch, the first official Danger Ranger!

The things I don’t need in my Danger Ranger business are many. CPR certificates are meaningless to me because I’m not going to let anyone drown. EMT training is irrevelant to me because I’m going to call in the REAL PROS, thank your local Search & Rescue, if anyone gets hurt. Why? They have helicopters, experience, spine boards and sterile gauze. What do I have? Duct tape, sterile urine and super glue just so you don’t bleed to death waiting for the helicopter ride. I also provide a snake bite kit though it’s up to your friends whether or not they carry you out.

The need for safety equipment is being replaced with safety meetings. The illusion of safety provided by equipment is all fake. It’s consumer bullsh*t that is totally against the philosophy of the Danger Rangers! The rules are simple in my world. I have banned life vests because only proficient swimmers should attempt a cliff jump. Helmets are a no go because the weight of the helmet can snap your neck if it whiplashes. Foot wear is up to you though the professional recommendation will be for water booties. Wet suits can be worn but you will have to carry it yourself, there and back. A slight issue if we’re doing 12 miles…especially after swimming in it.

My company enforces no height limit except those imposed by nature, being your fear or the height of the tallest cliff at the location. Training is provided to all though it is always at every client’s individual discretion to refuse it. I will always give a client my honest opinion, based on my observations of their skills, if they can make a jump or not. I am offering advanced classes for the more daring jumpers who take my treks. These include extreme heights and doing tricks.

The costs for a tour depend on the experience you want to achieve. A basic day trip package will be around 150 dollars depending on driving distance, hiking distance, your group’s size ( young kids cost extra too ) and back up personal. Yes, you can hire a human mule when you take the 12 Feet Under tour! Multiple night excursions are also available to at least three places, with more coming every year. You can choose between long treks or base camping. All participants will have to sign a Waiver of Liability, Acceptance of Responsibility and an Acknowledgment of Risk and Danger. Returning clients get a discount and multiple trip discounts are also available if you book in advance!

The rest of the rules are simple. If you bring kids, especially those under 13, they are solely the responsibility of the client who brought them. We provide zero day care services. Poking smot and drinking alcohol are discouraged, especially on day trips. Littering will not be tolerated and if caught littering you will agree to the fines and fees imposed by my company, who will be cleaning it up. Graffiti is a more severe crime so the fines and fees imposed are greater and may involve a fat lip. The killing, maiming or abuse of animals will be dealt with were there is no government authority. Fishing and hunting are excluded as long as the shooter has the proper state permits.

That being said there are things I do not guarantee. Weather is the main one. I also provide no guarantee we will make the intended destination. If that is the case 12 Feet Under is still paid for the entire planned excursion. the decison to leave men behind is up to the paying group, however they decide. They’re your friends. I do not guarantee your personal safety. Loose rocks, idiots, lack of listening ability, refusal to follow directions and animal attacks are considered acts of god or morons and I’m unable to prevent these. I seek to minimize these risks through knowledge, skill and experience but everyone knows about the best laid plans of mice and men!

Right now I need input from you guys. Company name, cost of human mules and the mileage rates need to be determined. Those jumpers who throw the show should also be paid just to jump so what’s an honest day’s wage for that?

I’m also going to publish this front and center on 12 Feet Under so it’s available to everyone 24/7. I’m thinking of calling it Danger Ranger Inc.

My first question is “Am I the only one to get a really stuffed up nose from cliff jumping?” If you do “What do you do about it?”

I think it’s called cryptosperia…spelled phonetically.

I just got back from Man’s Jump and I have to say the water was extremely pleasant for the time of year. The main topic was underwater caves and being sucked into one after cliff jumping, a real concern in places like California’s Kern River. That also happens at Jackson’s Glory Hole, due to a mile long subterranean river flow. In the course of looking things like that up I came across this news link. The big thing I took away from this article was that more people are dying due to professional cliff jumping tours.

I am going to maintain that anyone who wants to learn how to jump off a cliff should learn from a real cliff jumper. That means a guy with a CPR certificate and a big mouth should not be your “tour guide”. I am going to give a shout out to Trek America Kills here. These companies are either in need of some real talent or the future is looking down for our sport. I already hate the forest tax known as the Adventure Pass and I don’t want to pay a jumping tax.

The reality of jumping off of cliffs is that you ARE going to get hurt, it’s just a question of when & how bad. The following is quoted from some a**hole who contributed to the article.

” ‘We inspect the jump area, have mountaineers leading the tours and insist on the wearing of wetsuits, helmets, foot gear and buoyancy aids,’ Best said. ‘Without these it is simply not safe.‘ ” endquote

These companies are obviously endangering their clientale , proven by the above quote. I would like to add that not only are they a “cottage industry” they are 100% Fly By Night operations

1. Anything that adds to the area increases impact. The life vest, helmet brim and foot gear increases the impact. Do you really want your tightly attached helmet slapped with 360 degrees of 30+ mph water streams? Not Me!
2. Wearing life vests. Why? Increasing the impact time reduces exponentially the force transferred by the said impact. Think airbags. The life vest would slow you down as you sank. That concept is hard to put into words unless understood “Think airbags”.
3. Training and preparation are never mentioned. I’ve seen many different people jump from multiple heights and have noticed that their “style” is usually the same. A person who reclines on a ten foot jump will recline on a 20 foot jump and on a 30 foot jump etc.

There are many things to consider when you jump off a cliff and only a jumper knows what they are. Let’s Go Cliff Jumping has a nice collection of articles that addresses risks specific to cliff jumping. It’s something that can only be taught by doing and that makes the consequences of a mistake very dire. That is why this activity is extremely dangerous and can be summed up by the rule that “There are two kinds of cliff jumpers, World Class and Stuff on Rock.”

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How To Show Gravatars next to the Post title

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